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Because one day the sun comes up and you realise you haven't slept for days 

And the pain you thought you hid so well was actually your heart breaking 

And every time you hear a door open you imagine her walking through it because she's all you've thought about, isn't she? 

Her eyes 

Her smile 

Her hair

Her laugh 

Her kiss 

Her hand inside of yours 

That's all you've thought about, isn't it? 

And it's not 3am when you're not sleeping 

It's 4 in the afternoon when you're working that you feel the need to break down 

Because she's no longer a message away 

Because she's no longer a call away 

Because you can't help but drag yourself down 

Because she always brought you up and you'd never want to think of a world without her so you live it as though she wasn't 

And it's not your mum you cry to; it's your pillow 

Because it smells like her 

And you dig your head deeper and deeper into it until the smell fades and all that's left are

your tears 

And you never thought for a second you wouldn't be able to roll over and wrap your arms around her 

But all you do is hug thin air 

And the spot right next to you on your bed is hers 

Whether she's with you or not

And you won't let anyone replace it 

Because she gave you things no other woman could 

She gave you life and meaning 

And she pushed you to succeed and she pushed you to test your limits and she pushed you to go that extra mile 

And today you can honestly say you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her

Britt Wheildon